Are you thinking about starting therapy? Here are some of the things clients frequently say are barriers to beginning.
I’m not sure my problems/issues are serious enough
I promise you that if it’s bothering you, it’s worth coming to therapy for. A therapist will not be measuring your ‘seriousness’ against those of their other clients; they will simply be paying attention to what your challenges are like for you, and how to help with that.
I’m worried my issues are too big, and will terrify my therapist
Either they really won’t, because therapists are trained to deal with difficult things and are often very experienced in doing so, or your therapist will refer you on to a colleague. In cases where something feels out of our competence, i.e. we are not trained to help you manage it well, it is best practice to make a referral and to keep you informed about it.
What if I don’t like my therapist?
Whatever the reason you don’t like them, be it something they said, some way they relate (or don’t) to you, or just a “bad feeling” - you don’t have to continue the therapy. Pay for the session(s) you’ve had and let them know you’re done. You don’t have to give a reason, though feedback is always welcome. Even if you think it’s difficult feedback to hear, it might be just the feedback they need. And don’t give up on therapy - try someone else until you find the right therapist for you.
What if my therapist judges me?
Judgement has no place in therapy as it stifles exploration. Therapists are trained to listen without judging and to understand things from your perspective. It is totally normal to worry that your therapist might judge you, but they should really communicate to you pretty early on that that’s the last thing they’re going to do. If you do feel judged or shamed, don’t stay with them - there are plenty of other therapists out there.
What if I can’t stop crying?
There can be a worry that once you open up, and let yourself feel your emotions, you might never be able to turn off the flow. It’s normal, especially in the early stages of therapy, to feel very emotional and like your feelings are quite raw. This is part of the process, and it will get easier. Plus, your therapist will help you to manage it. Meanwhile, never worry about crying in your therapy session. Therapists see people crying all the time and understand how necessary it is. And we always have loads of tissues.
What if I don’t really need therapy, or it doesn’t help?
There is a lot you can do to help yourself, of course, and that is often enough. However, there is no substitute for talking things through with a trained professional sometimes.
What if I need to go to therapy for the rest of my life?
Therapists will not encourage you to become dependent on them and will always help you work towards fostering your own coping strategies and ways forward. However, there is nothing wrong with coming back to therapy whenever you feel you need to. Once you experience how useful it can be, you might want to access it if you find yourself struggling with something in the future, or even struggling with something you thought you’d worked through.
What if someone sees me going into my therapist’s office?
Therapy is confidential but it’s sod’s law that you’ll bump into the village gossip just as you’re arriving at a well signposted counselling centre, isn’t it? These days the stigma around mental health and seeking help via therapy is being broken down, but you might still feel self conscious about people knowing you go to therapy. It really is none of their business. It might help to bear in mind that all kinds of people attend therapy for a multitude of reasons. It is nothing to be ashamed of: really you can be proud of yourself for seeking help rather than suffering alone.